You probably don't care this much about my life. Maybe I will regret making a blog post out of this. Last week I had my first ever medical procedure.
(Besides giving birth to 6 children, with no complications, all regular deliveries... wait, and 5 miscarriages, all which bled naturally and never required a DNC...
oh yes, I have taken 11 positive pregnancy tests.)
This is me in the bathroom right before my laser treatment to remove my massive varicose vein on the back of my leg. I took a picture for posterity, just in case I died during the procedure, but I lived to tell about it.
You ready to see my vein that has been with me for somewhere around 8 years.
It is pretty much the shape and size of your small intestines.
mmm, glamorous.
Here is the sterile table all ready for me.
And the chair they will lay down for me, and then zap my leg with a 1000 degree laser.
They are doing an ultrasound of my leg. Its like I am pregnant with a huge vein, ha ha, a life of its own it's so big... I think I almost heard its heart beat. Thats gross, I am joking.
It hurt. They had to feed some wire all up through my vein, poke me with a bunch of needles to deliver the local anesthesia.
Right before they pulled the switch to laser away... the doctor and I really had this conversation:
Doctor: Okay, this is a 1000 degree laser, tell us if you feel anything
Me: (in a new state of panic) What do you mean IF I feel anything, is there a chance I will feel lots of pain?
Doctor: (very calmly) USUALLY patients don't feel anything
Me: (higher state of panic) What do you mean USUALLY, what are the chances I am going to feel this???
Doctor: (a little annoyed at my wimp level) We do our best guess at the local anesthesia, and usually patients don't feel anything
I seriously almost passed out, I got light headed and he really freaked me out. What doctor says "Best Guess" and "usually" right before a procedure??? It made me light headed I was so scared.
Then he flipped his switch, and I didn't feel anything.
I thought it was over at that point, but there was some foam chemical injection they put in my vein afterwards to burn it out or something. That hurt too. They immediately wrapped my leg and put a lovely compression hose on... so I didn't get to see the final result yet. I have to wear it for a week.
But I can just imagine that when I unwrap it...
my legs are going to look like this:
5 comments:
Yes, we are definitely going to need pictures of your leg after the compression period is over.
I laughed that you took a picture of yourself for your posterity just in case you died.
I'm glad you didn't.
Sign me up! I want the legs in the last picture, too. It's great to have a post about you. We can't wait to see the after picture. We miss you.
I'm so glad that the 1000 degree laser didn't hurt you! ...I would have been freaking out, too.
thats awesome!
I can just imagine you taking all those pictures at the doctors. I bet they thought you were quite funny!
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